Christian Family
Broken Marriages?
4 min read, approximately
“And if a kingdom be divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a house be divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.” (Mark 3:24-25)
Why do couples argue? Why is there so much conflict in marriages? When we marry, each of us brings a suitcase containing more than good things. We also bring our customs, habits, problems, fears, wounds… Yes, none of us is perfect, so we carry imperfections in that suitcase too! When we unpack those suitcases in our shared life, it usually creates friction. Whether we like it or not, conflict will exist. Unless…
“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain…” (Psalms 127:1a)
Exactly! Any marriage without God’s guidance, without Christ at its center, will sooner or later give way to selfishness, lies, jealousy, intolerance, shouting, uncontrolled arguments, and fights that distort the way we see our husband or wife. We forget that our spouse is a beautiful gift from God, a suitable helper… God established it that way! At this point we begin planning a divorce because we can no longer stand our spouse… We begin passing judgment and speak without weighing our words, while the Word says:
“forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye: and above all these things [put on] love, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to the which also ye were called in one body; and be ye thankful.” (Colossians 3:13-15)
You know, it is so sad to hear so many divorced couples say: ‘If only I had not done or said that…’ ‘If only I had listened…’ But why do they not reconcile? ‘Well, it is not the same anymore. We have hurt each other so much that it is no longer worth it…’ If we are going through this today, we urgently need to stop, run to the Master’s feet, and ask for his guidance in our marriage! Husbands:
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it; that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself a glorious [church], not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Even so ought husbands also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth himself:” (Ephesians 5:25-28)
Wives:
“Wives, [be in subjection] unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, [being] himself the saviour of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so [let] the wives also [be] to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24)
Where Do We Begin? Husbands: Let us begin by loving our wives (Ephesians 5:25). But how? ‘Let us learn to live with them wisely and honorably, so that our prayers will not be hindered’ (1 Peter 3:7). Set cruelty aside; always have an ‘I love you’ or a
“You look beautiful!” (Colossians 3:19)
ready. Bless your wife; let your mouth speak only good things to her. A word from us in the morning can brighten her whole day (Proverbs 31:28-29). Pray for her, her dreams, and her goals! Wives: Recognize your husband as an authority, and be prudent in your speech (Proverbs 15:1). Remember that a wise woman builds her home; respect is therefore an important pillar of a happy marriage (Proverbs 14:1). Pray for him, his dreams, and his goals! This is not a matter of feelings… It is a matter of decision and determination! It is not built overnight, but instead of waiting for the other person to change, why not begin with ourselves? No more divorces! If we know something else that will build up the relationship, let us put it into practice! Even if you are already divorced… in the Lord it is never, never, never too late to begin again!
May God continue to bless you
and may you continue to have an excellent day in Christ Jesus!
I invite you to stop by the Songbook